From school to last year, I had never thought I could have ability to obtain a score over 700 marks.
Because when I was a student, It was difficult to find a grammer book I was easily to understand, I only had a English Oxford grammer book in my hand, but in fact I couldn't understand what was the real meaning of the content inside. Although my English teacher told us to read it as selfstudy and I had to do so, most of my classmates including me did not know how to ask the problem we were tackled with. The main reason might be we were lazy and young.
After year 1998, I found Chinese version grammer book becoming more easily to find in book stores. Those Chinese versions seemed to be more easily to understand.
Since 2006, I stayed at home or library to study English and Potungua all the day.
Since 2009, I started to buy the most recent update version of Chinese version English grammer books. I found them very easy to understand only if I paid attention to read and think. But I knew my memory was not good. I could hardly to remember those difficult words and patterns.
Last year, I attended to take the TOEIC, my comment to my score 640 was that I was luckily to have had the marks over 600, I had to pay more effort.
This year, I took part in the TOEIC again, I have got the marks over 700. Should I be enlighted and joyful with my score?
In fact I was not, I have been upsetting for over 1 month. The reason is that I should have been obtained a higher marks because I lost 95 marks in the reading part. There was no any difficult words for me. I had ability to achieve a higher score even full marks. Why I made so many mistakes? I am not satified to my performance.
I hate me. I should have been enjoyed the satisfaction after I received the result I had successfully achieved. Why my target was always set higher and higher. But I know the result should have been obtained when I was studying in secondary school.
A reasonable result was being late for 20 years. My heart is full of complication.
PS
17-8-2013
Amend I was difficulty to It was difficult
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