On 4th Sept 2012 daybreak, I was being sent to hospital and I was stayed there for 1 whole day. It was because I seemed to be situating in breathing difficulty. I scared and I informed ambulance at once and they took me to hospital. I was thinking of whether the time match to go to heaven. But it was not the suitable time. Could I still alive tonight? I scared and I thought of the death.
After X-ray and drew blood, the doctor instructed me to stay in hospital for further checking. Then I was moved to an empty bed in the other side of emergency room. I drew blood 2 times,x-ray 2 time, checked blood pressure 6 times and checked the status of my heart for 2 time. Also the nurses gave me medicines 3 times in the morning, at the afternoon and in the evening respectively. Also there was the first time I tried the breakfast(Congee), Lunch(Sauteed Shredded Pork with Preserved Vegetables) and dinner(I forgot) in hospital. So far so good, but felt light in taste.
I thought about her for a while.
After my lunch I was rushing into the coffee shop to have a white coffee when the nurses were not keeping alert to me. There is a coffee shop besides my room. The price is similar to Starbucks. I stayed there for almost half and hour. Then I rushed back to my bed but I was blamed by the nurses because they couldn t find me after my lunch. It was the time they served me my medicines.
My sister came to see me at around 2pm but it was out of the visit time. I told my sister to wait for me at the coffee shop and I asked for the nurses permission. The nurses gave me a evil smile. Mightbe they thought she was my girlfriend, but she was not. Then I went to the coffee shop and we talked for a while. I was happy because I never thought she would come to see me.
Also my mother came to see me at around 6pm. She was in a hurry. I just said I was told by the doctor to further my body check, so I had to stay in hopital. If every thing was alright. I could be left the hospital before midnight.
After the last checking at 8 o clock. I was told the results for all checking were in normal situation and nothing special case could be checked at 9 o clock by the duty doctor. I could leave right away. I just thought there was no need to being picked up by other person was the best news for me. Mightbe I was watching myself in the ceiling. But I was still me.
Of course I came back home immediately because my mother still didn t fall asleep.
I didn t know why I thought about her on the way home. She went with me from those mini-bus stops. But I couldn t remember what was happening at that time. Why were we at there?
Also, the cat eyes in one night in May 2012, I scared and I also seemed to be breathing difficulty afterward. I rushed into my mother s room that day break. I seemed to be a small boy to wake up my mother. My mother just asked me "Are you alright?" and I just answered "nothing special". I dared not say anything..
I told my mother the case in July and August repectively. But she didn t say anything and she just seemed to be hearing a story, a crazy story.
But there was no one understood me, I scared the time was up. Nothing I could be done for almost 10 years. Both My grandfather and my father were died few years ago. I scared and I worried about myself today.
In fact the scare of death is not only the most important point to me. I am worrying both what I have been done and what I have being done because in fact nothing I could be done. I was definitely a rubbish because my promise could never be working in practice. It should have been come true. My fault.
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